It happened to me while climbing last Friday. I decided to lead a climb that would push the edge of my ability. The first 3/4 of the climb went great. I got to the first crux (tricky spot), and worked right through it. Then, already well above the bolt, I attempted the next crux move, and I fell... and I screamed... and the rope caught me (15 ft later) just as it's designed to do. I was fine. I got back on the climb and fell again (and screamed again), got back on and fell again (and screamed again). Then I rested there, hanging in my harness, frustrated and shaking. I couldn't remember the sequence I had used before (on toprope), and simply couldn't figure out the move. I knew that the fall would be good- the rope had already caught me three times- so why was I still scared? I prayed.
God showed me a metaphor for my life: oftentimes I'm afraid to really go for something if I can't see how it will work out, or that I will be successful. Life is full of risks: stepping out into a new job, moving, falling in love, and the list goes on. However, if you don't take those risks, sometimes you miss out on really living.
God challenged me to get back on that climb one more time, and really give it all I had, to dyno (jump) for that next hold, even though I wasn't sure I'd be able to reach it or even hold onto it. This time I was ready to really give it my all, for the climb and symbolically for my life. I got back on the rock. I did the first crux move again, then moved my feet around this time for optimal positioning to crouch low and then spring up for that next hold. I rocked down, let out a tarzan yell and sprang up for that hold with all my strength...
...and I fell (and I think I screamed). I failed. I couldn't do it. I tried my hardest and didn't make it. So what about my great metaphor, did it go down the drain? Absolutely not. I learned that I could fail, and that was perfectly OK. The rope still caught me, and I was safe. In my life, I often fear failure and get disappointed in myself easily. However, last week I was reminded that it can be more rewarding and strengthening to take risks than to walk away from the uncertain and remain safe on the ground. God was not disappointed in me that day. He always loves me, no matter how much I mess up. He protects me from harm and encourages me to give life my best, no matter the outcome.
The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear?
The LORD is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?
Psalm 27:1
The LORD is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?
Psalm 27:1
